I'm not tired, but I should be asleep. I can't, though. I miss Jessica. I don't know what it is lately, but I hate being away from her. I long for her every moment I can't see her. She's a part of me that I need to go on. I think it may stem from our past and the times I messed it up…those periods of non-speaking. They were terrible and, in retrospect, hated them. I was going through the motions and not being myself. Instead, I was being something that others expected, my "shell" that I created to protect myself, a cushion.

I just finished reading all of the things she's written and sent to me. It just brings out the fact that I miss her even more. I want to be with her right now, holding her and knowing everything will be all right. Because it will be all right…whenever I'm with her, my thoughts are just on us, no outside influences bother me, everything is perfect. She holds my complete attention and my joy of being with her can overcome any problems. I know I'll be with her forever; I love her that much.

It's been weird lately, though. For some reason I get these thoughts or visions or dreams of something happening to split us. A terrible sense of dread washes over me because I don't know what I'd do without her. I can't even remember how it was without her…that feels like years ago. If something like that actually happened, there's no telling what I'd do. I'd lose the person I'm closest to and I don't know if I could cope. It would be too much and I'd probably be broken. No, I wouldn't be able to handle it at all. We are two parts of one person, completing each other perfectly. To lose that would be losing myself.

Hope extends itself and I know that a rift will not happen. Almost seven months now and still as happy as when we started dating, this is the sort of thing that happens in fairy tales (or comic books in my case). It's the one…she's the one. I know that in every part of my being…she is the one and I couldn't be happier.